http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015279.html

Detective #1: Hurry up, we have a DOA!
Detective #2: Relax, it's just a DOA. It's not like somebody died.

--Upper Westside Police Precinct

Overheard by: BigCitySgt

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015278.html

Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don't have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It's for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.

--Borders, 57th & Park Ave

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015277.html

Guy walking small dog: It's crazy that we live so close to each other and I never see you.
Woman walking giant dog: I know it's my fault, I've been crazy busy at work.
Guy: We don't have to make it a big thing -even if we just get together for a half an hour of sex.
Woman: I'm up for that!

--W 26th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015276.html

Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo... and I'm not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what "biased" means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.

--F Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015275.html

College girl #1: Ugh, I can't believe I have to go to my uncle's wedding. It's his fucking third one!
College girl #2: His third one?
College girl #1: Yes! Why can't he just go to some deserted island and get married by himself?!
College girl #3: Well, you can't really get married by yourself.
(pause)
College girl #1: Will you please just be supportive? You know what I mean.

--MetroNorth, Harlem Line

Overheard by: rpk

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015274.html

Awkward Japanese teacher: So you guys use text messages, right? Like... L-O-L?
(students look confused)
(awkward Japanese teacher laughs)
Student, proudly: I know: L-O-L sensei!
Awkward Japanese teacher: Oh em gee.

--Columbia University

Overheard by: vicksburg

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015273.html

Girl: You'll never guess what I saw in the Delancey Street station today. I was about to sit down on the bench when I noticed that someone had drawn swastikas all over it with a marker.
Guy: That's distasteful.
Girl: Tell me about it. I'm sure people come across that and have their day completely ruined. Luckily, I was only slightly annoyed.

--G Train

Overheard by: greg*

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015369.html

Conductor: Yes, here's the bathroom. And if someone's in there (points to the garbage can in the wall) you can go right in there, I don't care.
Guy standing near the garbage, to another passenger: Hey, hey! Not while I'm standing here.

--Train Departing from Penn Station

Headline by: Rachel

Runners-Up:
· "And the Waterfountain Is a Bidet on Really Busy Days" - bdayfox
· "I Guess It Really Is Better to Be Pissed Off Than Pissed On" - Mark
· "Let Me Lay Down and Get Comfortable First" - ddv
· "Please Stand Clear Of the Emptying Bowels" - Mr. Hedge
· "So That's What They Mean by "Business" Class." - Jessie Birks
· "Wait Till We Get to Newark, When I Can't Tell the Difference" - Barry P.


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015272.html

Preppy girl: I wonder why celebrities do so many drugs.
Queen: Honey, you can only buy so much couture.

--F Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015271.html

Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That's not a tumor, it's a mosquito bite... like my tits!

--E Train

Overheard by: Jatmos

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015270.html

Guy: So you slept with her?!
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: You were supposed to be taking pictures of the drugs, not seducing her.

--Red Hook Boardwalk

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015269.html

Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?

--Q Train

Overheard by: Chloe

Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.

--14th & 6th

Overheard by: bildita

Guy: ...and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.

--Metropolitian Musuem of Art

Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers

Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I'm getting sick of it.

--14th St & 1st Av

Overheard by: Larry

Thug: I'm like super pimp. I pimp men and women... And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.

--10th & Broadway

Composed chick on cell: He's a giraffe, and I'm a leopard, and I'm never gonna be a giraffe. I've tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I'm gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It's in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.

--Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015268.html

Tourist to doorman, in thick German accent: Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Hooters?

--53rd St

Overheard by: jillcorp

Tourist taking a picture of her uncooperative teenage daughter: Shut up and pose, or I'm going to pee right on this yard.

--Central Park

Tourist about to take picture with lens cap on: Oh, shoot! Hold on, I have to take the lens cap off or else the picture is going to be really dark!

--Grand Central Terminal

Tourist girl: I don't get it, there's so many suits here, I thought Union Square would be full of hippies.

--City Hall Park

Tourist on cell: So far, I've experienced coldness and evil.

--57th & 8th

Overheard by: Lag